In this engaging and interactive BNI Education Slot, Sauren Ghosh explored the subject of personal branding within BNI and how members can improve their “referability” through professionalism, reliability and trust.
Sauren opened the session with a series of audience questions designed to challenge assumptions around referrals. Members were asked whether they would confidently refer people who appeared unprofessional, unreliable, disorganised, or inappropriate in meetings. The exercise immediately highlighted a key point: people naturally judge whether someone feels safe to recommend.
He then discussed the concept of “changing state” during presentations, explaining how energy, voice and interaction can shift the atmosphere in a room and help maintain engagement. Sauren also reflected on how presenters must adapt their behaviour and communication style depending on the audience they are speaking to.
Throughout the talk, he shared examples from BNI meetings where professionalism, or a lack of it, directly impacted how referable someone appeared to other members. Topics such as lateness, poor communication, inappropriate humour and inconsistency were all explored as factors that can quietly damage trust within a chapter.
Sauren emphasised that referrals are not simply based on technical ability or business expertise. Instead, members are often referring their own reputation when they introduce somebody to a client, friend, or trusted contact. As a result, trust becomes one of the most valuable assets a member can build.
The discussion also explored how members can actively strengthen their personal brand. Suggestions included:
- Doing what you say you will do
- Communicating clearly and consistently
- Following up on referrals
- Being reliable and professional
- Creating confidence in others
- Adapting appropriately to different environments and audiences
Another important theme was the difference between “giving” and “taking” within BNI culture. Sauren and the audience reflected on how long-term trust is built through contribution, support and genuine engagement with fellow members.
Towards the end of the session, Sauren encouraged members to reflect honestly on their own positioning within BNI and how they may be perceived by others. He reinforced the idea that every interaction contributes to a personal brand, whether intentionally or unintentionally.
Overall, Sauren’s talk served as a powerful reminder that successful networking is not just about business knowledge or sales ability, but about trust, consistency and the confidence others have in recommending you.
Full Transcript
00:16
Brilliant. Right, stand up for a second, folks, please.
00:21
If you can. You should always say “if you can” after that, because — yeah, not “if you want to”. If you can, Paul, there is a difference.
00:27
Right, stay standing if you have ever given a referral to someone.
00:35
Okay, so you all have. Yeah. Yeah.
00:37
Right, stay standing if you would give a referral to someone in your chapter who looks unprofessional.
00:46
Stay standing if you would give a referral to someone who uses bad language all the time with no filters.
00:55
Stay standing if you would give business to someone who lived their life in chaos.
01:04
Okay, and then sit down if you’re still standing.
01:08
Brilliant. So, a couple of things about that. Is my voice louder or quieter than when I spoke before?
Audience:
Loud.
01:16
Louder. Why do you think I’ve gone louder? Can I change the entire room?
Audience:
Yes.
01:22
Why else?
Audience:
Trying to generate enthusiasm.
Sauren:
Yeah. I get to be active.
01:27
Brilliant. So there’s another word for that, a posh word, which is changing the state, which is when you stand up as well, you create a change of environment.
01:36
Yes, you can use your loudness of voice or quiet of voice.
01:40
It’s up here. It’s quite lonely at times, isn’t it, when you’re presenting?
01:44
You think, “Am I talking too much?” Darren obviously thought he was, which is why he asked me to come in, but he also understood the audience needed a change of voice as well.
01:51
So, we’re starting to think again about who we might refer.
01:56
Now, some of you stayed standing when the word “swearing” was used.
01:59
Interestingly, the trades, which is probably right, because trades have a different language of their own within themselves.
02:08
When I go into BNI, I always have a challenge because I want to get in front of the accountant’s customers and I want to get in front of the trades’ customers as well.
02:15
And I think it’s fair to say, not always, but there’s a slight difference, isn’t there, in — I don’t know why the word demographic came into my mind. That’s not what I meant.
02:20
But there’s a difference in profile.
02:28
One of the things I have to do when I go in people’s houses very, very quickly, I’ve got to suss out how I’m going to behave.
02:35
Am I going to be laughy and jokey? Am I going to go into the house of a customer of Richard’s, our financial adviser, and be really professional because that’s what he is?
02:42
So I might dress a bit smarter as well.
02:50
Now, I’m going to mention a few things and you will know exactly who that person is, but I’m not here to name that person.
02:57
And please don’t name that person afterwards.
03:06
So, how do you feel in a BNI meeting when a substitute comes into the room, your meeting starts at seven and they trundle in at ten?
03:15
How do you feel professionally about that person when they come in? Does your respect for them go up, or does it drop a little bit?
Audience:
Drops.
03:20
It drops. Okay. Are they more referable or less referable?
Audience:
Less.
Sauren:
Less. Do you want to know a funny story?
03:27
One particular person — see this chair here?
03:30
This was my chair, right? And I got up to do the Ed Slot, right? So that chair was empty.
03:43
In walks this particular person. Darren had positioned the camera to go just over the top of the chair to get me in full flow, and this person sat here.
03:53
Now, I know you’ve all been at the cinema before, or seen someone film the cinema, where the little heads are popping up and down.
04:00
It was exactly like that.
04:05
Now, the reason I’m sharing that with you — and you all know probably who it is, that person — I’ve heard someone say in our meeting they could not refer that person to their clients.
04:13
They might be very good at what they do, but you are putting your reputation on the line somewhat when you go in.
04:20
Now, I’m very proud because I’ll mention her name, Zoe.
04:28
I’m very shortly going to have my first referral from Zoe, the accountant in our room.
04:35
Part of it is chance because somebody she knows is going to move into a house.
04:43
But I also know, the longer you’re in a chapter, the more your credibility goes up and up.
04:51
So you might get a bread-and-butter referral: “A guy I met down the pub said he’s looking to swap utilities. Have a word with him.”
04:59
And then when you’ve got someone — and Richard does this a lot for me because I’ve built great trust with Richard, our financial adviser — I’ve gone in to see some of his customers because I’ve got to know him quite well.
05:07
We’ve played a little golf together, a few of us have, and my trust level is up here.
05:16
So, part of the time, I think we know BNI is established. Okay, that’s code for a little bit outdated at times, but the know, like and trust bit doesn’t change.
05:24
So our job is to increase our know, like and trust.
05:28
There’s a great graph I like that Darren wouldn’t let me use, which is the confidence curve. Does anyone remember that?
Audience:
Yeah.
Sauren:
You wouldn’t let me use that, Darren, would you?
05:36
But it is quite powerful because our job is to gain trust with our fellow members as much as possible so that they will refer us.
05:48
We become more and more referable. What about how you dress then? Okay, does that matter?
Audience:
Depends on what job you do. Depends on your business.
Sauren:
Brilliant.
05:52
So when I go to Waterways, because I go to Waterways a lot, and I see Stu dressed in his work gear, and James and the other trades in there, I think I could put them in front of my mum to go and sort out any jobs.
06:00
Dave, electrical work. Dave, floor.
06:08
In fact, Dave’s been into my family member’s house to quote, so I know that they wouldn’t expect an electrician to be suited and booted.
06:17
Although, Dave, you are the best-dressed electrician I know, I have to say.
Audience:
Only on a Saturday.
06:25
Only on a Saturday at the races.
06:28
What else do you think might put you off referring somebody? Think of someone, but don’t name them. That’s probably an easy thing to do.
06:39
Audience:
If they’re unreliable. Meaning turning up to meetings or cancelling last minute.
Sauren:
Okay.
06:44
And so, the whole brand thing, isn’t it?
06:48
Sometimes I think the person I described before, I’ve decided I will take the absence rather than have them sub for me, right?
06:55
That’s quite harsh. We’re allowed one absence now. So, you know, it’s quite key.
07:03
And you’re right. The reliability. Attitude as well.
Audience:
If they can’t be arsed, then I can’t be arsed referring them.
Sauren:
Yeah. So what does that mean for you?
07:09
What have they demonstrated to convey the fact that they don’t care?
Audience:
That they’re not bothered about anything, don’t they? About jobs maybe, perhaps, you know what I mean?
07:17
Or the way that they hold themselves is important for me. If they’re professional, if they hold themselves, if they’re proud of what they do, then that will rub off on me.
07:31
Sauren:
So you mentioned then, “I won’t be bothered.”
07:33
Absolutely. Now, you mentioned something else I wasn’t going to drift onto, but I will. Innuendo.
07:40
So who thought when Ray said about “holding themselves”, right? Some people’s minds gravitate, don’t they?
07:50
So, there’s a certain time in our meetings where the conversation is a little bit — what’s the word I’m looking for?
Audience:
Risky.
Sauren:
I like that word. Risky.
07:53
So the more professional people in the chapter will be thinking, “Can I trust that person to be non-risqué with those?”
08:01
Now, I grew up around the Carry On films, so I understand it fully.
08:09
But things in the meeting need to be different from outside the meeting at times. I see I’m the only Carry On fan here, so I’ll move on swiftly.
08:12
Audience:
I think sometimes in business—
Sauren:
Oh, hold on, Ray. Paul was going to say something.
08:19
Audience:
I think sometimes, the longer you’re in BNI, the less tolerant you are of people who don’t give stuff to other people.
08:29
The selfish members, if you like, who, without mentioning anybody, you mentioned somebody in Waterways who, for a long, long time, was all about him.
08:36
It was all about what he did, what he didn’t do, what he did do.
08:42
And it took him a long — it took us a long time to get him to be a giving person rather than a taking person.
08:51
Sauren:
Okay.
08:54
Audience:
And all that time, he was unreferrable, in my opinion. Some people did, but I would never have used him.
09:09
Sauren:
So, thanks for sharing that.
09:11
It’s interesting, this, because I’m a qualified coach. I don’t get paid for it yet, but it’s something I’ll do in the future.
09:19
And I always think our job is to help newer members.
09:27
So Dave does the Passport Programme, nurturing people into our chapter, and our responsibility is to coach and help them.
09:31
Now, I came across somebody in BNI — I’m not going to be specific, which is unlike me — and they talked about how their life is in chaos at the moment.
09:39
Certain things have happened to them. It’s like they’re attracting a load of negativity in their lives.
09:48
And again, do you think they’re making themselves reliable or non-reliable?
Audience:
Less reliable.
Sauren:
It’s less reliable, isn’t it?
09:50
And they’re also saying things like, “I’m really chocker at the moment. If I haven’t got around to you yet, please bear with me.”
09:57
So there’s ways of self-marketing and self-promoting.
10:04
And I’m feeling kind of guilty now because I’m thinking, should I be helping that person a bit more?
10:12
But we’re in business for ourselves to understand how we need to market ourselves as well.
10:20
So it’s quite tricky. We’re there to help and support, but people need to be able to help and support themselves at times as well.
10:24
So what else can you do to enhance your brand then? Is there anything else that we’ve not talked about?
Audience:
Do what you say you’re going to do. If you say you’re going to focus on a certain time.
10:30
Sauren:
Yeah. Brilliant. Keep the person updated.
10:38
You know, I’m not very good at this, actually, when someone refers me. I will tell the person at some point, but it’s quite good to just drop them a message maybe after you’ve spoken to them.
10:47
I do it sometimes. Anyone do it all the time if you have a referral?
10:51
It’s quite good practice to do that, isn’t it, if you can do that, because we all like to have feedback.
11:00
Okay, so we’ve talked about other people there, haven’t we? But I want you to — what’s that phrase? For every finger that you’re pointing out, there’s three pointing back at yourself.
11:09
I guess what I’m trying to say as well is, have a think about your own brand and positioning.
11:18
I always say things at the beginning of my Utility Warehouse appointments — and that’s a good tip, by the way. Anytime you stand up and speak, get in your own business, because you may as well while you’re up.
11:27
I always say — and we’ve introduced two customers for a new partner today who’s doing really well, lovely lady called Lynn — I always start off with, “We only want you as a customer if we’re going to save you any money.”
11:34
And that trust level for me is, “Who’s this Indian?” I don’t know why the word Indian — “Who’s this guy all of a sudden on the screen?” because we did them on Zoom.
11:42
“I don’t know him.” All of a sudden, “Oh, he’s not going to sell to me.” You can see the shoulders drop.
11:49
So I guess how we make other people feel is quite key to what we do.
11:52
And I’m going to leave you with this phrase, or this concept.
12:00
When you get referred, they’re not referring what you do.
12:08
They’re referring their confidence in you and the way you are.
12:16
So the more you can enhance that part of it, the more referrals you get.
12:23
Because most people are putting you in touch with people that they care about, people who they earn money from, their friends.
12:32
Okay, so Lewis has given me a few referrals and I’ve had lovely conversations with people he’s met socially, and then I’ve gone to see them.
12:40
They think he’s great, by the way, so obviously doing something right socially as well, Lewis.
12:47
And I’ve had the pleasure of meeting those people.
12:54
So, the more accessible you can be — put you in front of the accountant and solicitor’s friends, if you perceive them to be better than we are.
13:02
No one’s better than anybody else. Or somebody else, you know, the window cleaner. I’m being demographic and sorry about that.
13:10
If you’re watching the recording, I apologise to you as well.
13:18
But it’s just about making yourself as referable to everybody at the same time, which I think is a challenge in BNI.
13:26
There’s an old saying in BNI, isn’t it? Which is, “The way you do one thing is the way you should be doing everything.”
Audience:
Perceived to do.
Sauren:
Yeah. No, it’s true. It’s true.
13:32
So, you’ll very rarely hear me swear in a meeting. Okay. Oh no, I’m only joking.
13:40
So, I hope that’s been useful. Think about — sometimes I think I was born the wrong… I’m going to say the wrong thing now. I’m really sorry. The wrong sex, because I really struggle with what to wear.
13:48
I always go for black jeans and a jacket because I can’t decide what to wear.
13:56
And only since lockdown have I started wearing jeans. Before lockdown, I think we all mostly — was anyone else more suited and booted before lockdown, or was it just me?
Audience:
That’s why I wore a tag. Never wore a T-shirt.
14:04
Sauren:
So things have changed. People’s perceptions have changed, and our job is to keep with the times and make ourselves as referral as possible — referable as possible.
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