BNI members regularly hear about the importance of arranging one-to-one meetings. These conversations provide an opportunity to build stronger relationships, understand what fellow members do and identify potential business opportunities. However, as Zoe Devenport explained in her recent BNI Education Slot, having a productive meeting is only part of the process. What happens afterwards can be just as important.
Building on a previous Education Slot about accountability, Zoe challenged members to think about how often promises made during one-to-one meetings actually lead to action. It’s easy to finish a meeting with good intentions, whether that’s arranging an introduction, recommending someone’s services or speaking to a potential customer. But how often do those commitments get forgotten?
Zoe admitted that her usual approach has been to leave people to follow through on their promises without chasing them. If somebody doesn’t do what they said they would, she generally considers that a reflection on them rather than herself. However, reflecting on her own experiences made her question whether this approach was really helping anyone.
She shared an example of a recent one-to-one with Darren Jamieson, where she promised to speak to a contact about his business. Although the conversation didn’t lead to an opportunity, Zoe had followed through on her commitment. Looking back through notes from previous meetings, she also recognised occasions when she hadn’t delivered on promises made to other members.
Her message was straightforward. If somebody offers to make an introduction or speak to a potential customer, don’t be afraid to follow up. Where practical, members should even consider making contact during the one-to-one meeting itself, rather than leaving it until later.
Following up doesn’t have to mean being pushy. There may be perfectly good reasons why something hasn’t happened, but asking the question gives both members clarity and helps ensure opportunities aren’t simply forgotten.
Ultimately, Zoe encouraged members to take greater responsibility for what happens after their one-to-one meetings. Building relationships is essential to successful networking, but those relationships become far more valuable when conversations turn into action.
Full Transcript
[00:12] I’ve been asked this morning to talk about getting more from one-to-ones. And I can probably see you all going, “Oh God, again? Are we going to do one-to-ones again?”
[00:21] So, over the last sort of nine months or so, lots of people have done things about how you can get more from one-to-ones. We’ve talked about GAINS sheets.
[00:29] We did those new sheets that Bryn from Roman chapter had come up with, and we all had a go at doing those.
[00:35] But actually, I’m going to try and do a little bit of a different spin on one-to-ones today, virtually, because Gail did a brilliant Ed Slot last week about accountability.
[00:45] So I want to follow that theme on.
[00:47] So I am a big believer that if somebody says they’re going to do something for me and they do it, wonderful. If they don’t do it for me, it says more about them than me.
[00:56] And I don’t tend to then follow it up.
[01:05] There is somebody in BNI who has asked me for a one-to-one and said they’re going to come and visit my pub, and they’ve said this I don’t know how many times, countless times.
[01:13] And I have gone, “Yeah, that’s great. You’re more than welcome.”
[01:20] “Let me know when you’re free.” And they don’t. And I’ve learned from experience to go, “Right, well, that’s fine. If you don’t want to come, that’s fine.”
[01:28] “But I am not going to chase you and I’m not going to follow you up.” So what I want to talk about today is actually maybe I should do that.
[01:36] So I had a one-to-one with Darren last week. We chatted about lots of different things, and I said I would talk to a neighbour of mine.
[01:44] She is head of a marketing department for a company that’s got multiple businesses around the world. And I said I’d have a chat with her about Darren.
[01:52] And I made that promise to Darren, and I said I’d do it over the weekend. I didn’t see her at the weekend, but last night I did.
[02:00] And I chatted about Darren’s business. Now, for her, she runs a massive marketing budget, and she said if she used an outside agency to do anything like that, it would come out of her budget.
[02:07] And her budget is really tight as it is.
[02:16] So she wouldn’t want to use any external services. But for me, I made a promise to Darren that I would do that, and I did it. Now, I’ve gone back and looked at some of my other notes from other BNI meetings, BNI one-to-ones.
[02:24] And there are some promises that I’ve made to other members that I haven’t followed up on.
[02:32] Now, in my view, that says more about me, but those people haven’t followed up either.
[02:39] So from an accountability point of view, what I want you all to do is next time you’re in a one-to-one and there is a specific business or person that the other person says, “I’ll have a chat with them for you,”
[02:47] see if they can do it there and then. And that might not be practical,
[02:56] but see if they can do it there and then. And I want everybody in the room then, if they talk to somebody and there is somebody specific that they want and that’s promised to you, follow it up.
[03:03] Be the person that says to the other person, “You said you would do this for me. Have you done it?”
[03:11] Because I don’t like that question. I’m a bit sort of like, you know, [clears throat], a bit pushy. I might not, you know, I might not get what I want from it.
[03:18] But actually, I think we should. If someone has made you a promise, get them to do it for you.
[03:26] Get them to follow it up. And there may be a reason why they can’t, but actually explain that reason. At least then you’re not thinking, “Ah, you’ve made a promise to me and you can’t be bothered.”
[03:35] So yeah, next time you have a one-to-one, specific people, specific businesses, if they’re going to help you, make them do it. Thank you.
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