In this BNI Education Slot, Darren Jamieson addresses one of the most frequently voiced frustrations within BNI chapters: members who feel they are not getting enough referrals or business from their membership.

https://youtu.be/6pZBdI68Kdc

He explains that, almost without exception, members who complain about a lack of results are also the least engaged in the chapter. This creates a “chicken and egg” scenario — are they disengaged because they’re not getting referrals, or are they not getting referrals because they’re disengaged?

Darren identifies two core activities that are commonly missing.

The first is training. He highlights that networking is not a natural skill and that nobody is born knowing how to generate referrals effectively. BNI provides weekly education slots, podcasts, online learning, and face-to-face training to help members improve their networking ability. Without completing this training, members do not know how to educate others on who they want to be referred to, how to start referral conversations, or how to get introductions that lead to business. Expecting referrals without doing the training, Darren explains, is unrealistic.

The second activity is one-to-one meetings. Darren stresses that simply attending weekly meetings, delivering a 60-second presentation, or giving a feature presentation once or twice a year is not enough. One-to-ones are where members properly educate each other on how to refer business. Without them, members neither understand how to refer others nor give others the tools needed to refer them.

He also challenges the idea that one-to-ones are a box-ticking exercise for traffic lights or points. BNI, Darren explains, is not interested in members completing tasks for the sake of it — it exists to help members make more money. One-to-ones are part of that process because they directly impact referral quality and frequency.

Addressing the common excuse of “not having time,” Darren shares practical ways members can schedule one-to-ones, such as batching several into one day per month. He reminds members that BNI is not separate from their business — it is part of their business development strategy.

Darren concludes by encouraging members to reflect honestly on their activity. Have they completed training? Have they had recent one-to-ones with key members, particularly those in their power team? If not, the lack of referrals likely has a clear explanation.

His final message is simple: do the training, do the one-to-ones, and the business will follow.

Full Transcript

I sometimes hear in BNI chapters from some members — sometimes new members, sometimes lifelong members — I hear things like, “I’m not getting enough from BNI.”

(00:31)
“I’m not getting enough referrals from BNI. I should be getting more referrals. I’m not making enough money from BNI. I’m not getting enough profit from BNI. I’m not getting enough from my membership.”

And almost every single time — every single time — I hear somebody say that, I hear somebody complain that they should be getting more, that they’re not getting enough, I find that they are not actually putting enough in.

(00:58)
They are not engaged within the chapter.

And then it becomes a chicken-or-egg thing: are they not engaged within the chapter because they’re not getting enough out of it? Or are they not getting enough out of BNI because they are not engaged within the chapter?

Now, two of the most important things you can do to help you get more referrals… almost every single time, people who complain about not getting enough referrals are not doing these two things.

(01:22)
And the first one is the training.

There’s a particular member I can think of right now who says they’re not getting enough from BNI. They’re not getting enough referrals. Yet the training they have recorded in the last six months is zero.

(01:41)
They have done no training. They’ve done no training and logged it. They’ve listened to no podcasts and logged that. They’ve done no online training. They’ve done no face-to-face training.

Yet they’re complaining they’re not getting enough from BNI.

Well, of course you’re not getting enough from BNI.

As we say in BNI Chester in the UK before every single education slot, networking is not a natural skill.

(02:03)
Nobody is born as a natural networker, which is why every week we offer education slots to help you get better at networking, to help you get better at BNI. And then we present that week’s education slot.

If you do not do training, you will not know how to tell your fellow members how to refer you. You will not know how to educate your fellow members, how to find you a referral, how to start the conversation with someone about you, how to introduce you to get your foot in the door.

(02:32)
You do not know how to do this unless you do the training.

So, if you are complaining about “I’m not getting enough referrals within BNI,” “I’m not getting enough business from BNI,” are you doing the training? Probably not.

Start doing the training and you’ll find it’ll be a lot easier to tell your fellow members how to refer you within BNI, and how to get more business.

(02:51)
The second thing is probably a bit obvious because it follows on from that, and that’s one-to-ones.

Almost every time I hear people say, “I’m not getting enough from BNI. I should be getting more referrals. I’m not getting enough each week,” it’s because they’re not doing one-to-ones with fellow members.

They’re not sitting down with a member and educating that member on how to find them a referral — teaching them about who they are looking for — again, how to start the conversations, how to introduce them, how to get their foot in the door.

(03:22)
You have to do a one-to-one if you expect your fellow members to refer you. Because doing a 60 seconds, or turning up each week for a BNI meeting, or doing a featured presentation once every six months or twelve months — depending on how big your chapter is — is not enough to help you get referrals.

You have to do the one-to-ones in order to get other people to know how to refer you, and so that you know how to refer them.

(03:49)
Remember, BNI is about giving as well as receiving.

So, if you’re not doing the one-to-ones, you don’t know how to refer them, they don’t know how to refer you, and then you sit around in your chapter — or sit around in little clicky groups — saying, “I’m not getting enough from BNI. I should be getting more referrals. I should be getting more business from BNI.”

“Are you doing the one-to-ones?”
“No, I haven’t got time to do that.”

(04:06)
And that’s the problem.

You see, people see one-to-ones in BNI — or some people, I should say — some people see one-to-ones within BNI as something that BNI tells you to do.

“You got to do it for your traffic lights. You got to do it for your points. You got to do it because people keep asking, have you done one-to-ones this week? Have you had one-to-ones this week?”

“Oh, I haven’t got time for that. I can’t do BNI work. I’ve got my own business to be doing.”

(04:23)
It is your business.

Doing a one-to-one is not for BNI. BNI doesn’t care whether or not you do a one-to-one. It’s not interested in you doing tick boxes and you doing stuff that gets you up the traffic lights.

It’s interested in you making more money. It’s interested in the chapters growing, and its members making more money and getting more business.

That’s what we’re there for. That’s what we’re all there for.

(04:57)
So to do a one-to-one is not about a tick box. It’s not about traffic lights. It’s not because BNI tells you to do it. It’s because you need to be educating your fellow member on how to refer you.

And I hear some members say, “Well, I haven’t got time. I can’t do that. I can’t do a one-to-one every week. I haven’t got the time to dedicate each week to doing a one-to-one.”

(05:17)
Some members in our group do dedicated days per month where they’ll sit down in a coffee shop or they’ll sit down in their office and they’ll have other members come in throughout the day. And they’ll have maybe four, five, six one-to-ones in a day.

That covers their one-to-ones for the whole month, and a little bit into the next month.

And that’s a great way to do it. It’s a great use of your time.

(05:33)
But then again, I also hear people say, “I haven’t got a day once a month, I can do that. I can’t sit down in Costa and have members come in. It’s all right for some people. I’ve got business to do.”

This is your business. You’ve joined BNI to get referrals. If you are not using it properly, you are not going to get referrals.

Having a one-to-one is not about tick boxes or traffic lights. You are teaching your fellow member how to refer you.

(05:52)
If you do not teach your fellow member how to refer you, how can you expect them to refer you?

So for those thinking — I’ve heard this in chapters — or for those watching this thinking, “I should be getting more business from BNI,” ask yourself honestly:

Have you had a one-to-one with every member of your chapter?

Have you had a one-to-one recently with members in your industry, in your power team?

So, if you’re an IFA, have you had a one-to-one with the accountant or the solicitor in the last three months?

(06:20)
If the answer’s no, then you probably should be doing that.

There’s probably a reason you’re not getting referrals, and it’s because you’re not having one-to-ones with the people you should be having one-to-ones with — teaching them how to refer you.

So, as a final thought: if you’re not getting enough business from BNI, do the training, do the one-to-ones — you’ll find the business will follow.

Thank you.