When it comes to BNI, many members assume that the secret to success is simple: do more 1-2-1s and the referrals will start pouring in. While regular meetings are important, Gail Biddulph used her recent BNI Education Slot to explain why this belief is misleading, and why a smarter approach is far more effective.
More 1-2-1s does not always mean more referrals
Gail began by addressing a common assumption. Members often think that by cramming their diaries with as many 1-2-1s as possible, they’re bound to see results. But in reality, quality matters far more than quantity. A poorly planned or transactional meeting can be a wasted opportunity, while a single well-prepared, well-delivered 1-2-1 can open the door to multiple referrals.
The sales map approach
To reframe how we think about networking, Gail introduced the concept of a sales map. Unlike the traditional sales funnel, which narrows down as you progress, a sales map takes you across a journey from start to finish. It’s a tool that Gail often uses with clients to improve revenue, productivity, and business results.
Applied to BNI, a sales map encourages members to think about each stage of a 1-2-1 — before, during, and after — and to ask how the process can be made more effective. It’s a structured way of ensuring that time spent networking delivers real value.
Preparation beyond the GAINS profile
Most members are familiar with preparing for a 1-2-1 by completing a GAINS profile or researching the person’s business. While these are useful, Gail pointed out that they only cover the tangible side of preparation. What’s often overlooked is the emotional aspect of the meeting.
How does your partner feel going into the 1-2-1? Are they nervous because they’re new to BNI? Do they lack clear expectations, or perhaps have unrealistic ones? Recognising and responding to these feelings is key to building rapport and trust.
Why happiness matters in business
One of the most striking points Gail made is that happiness in business isn’t just a nice-to-have, it directly impacts financial results. Research shows that people who are happier, more positive, and who smile more in their interactions actually make more money. In the context of BNI, this means creating a positive, comfortable environment during 1-2-1s can significantly improve outcomes.
As Gail explained, this doesn’t mean sitting through meetings with a forced grin. It’s about being aware of how the other person feels and helping them relax. Small actions, such as showing genuine interest in their business and asking thoughtful questions, can transform the atmosphere of a meeting and lead to stronger, more productive relationships.
Turning a meeting into a genuine connection
Ultimately, Gail encouraged members to remember that a 1-2-1 should be exactly that: a genuine conversation between two people, not just a tick-box exercise. When both parties feel comfortable and respected, the chances of building lasting referral partnerships increase dramatically.
Final thoughts
Gail’s education slot was a valuable reminder that time is one of the most precious resources in business. Filling calendars with endless meetings is not the goal. The real goal is to use our time wisely, focusing on quality, preparation, and connection. By being smarter with 1-2-1s, BNI members can generate better referrals, more revenue, and more time to enjoy the rewards of their hard work.
Full Transcript
Right, three minutes. We know what BNI is. We know that there are lots and lots of different aspects to BNI. And we talk all the time, don’t we, about, well, have great 1-2-1s and it’ll generate more referrals, build referral partners, and so on and so on and so on.
[00:37] But let’s just think a minute about 1-2-1s because we all have them and we think, I’ll do more 1-2-1s and then I’m bound to get more referrals. But is that always true? No. No. So, is it more about being a little bit smarter with our time so we can get better referrals? We can generate even more money, which means we have even more time so we can go off and do all the wonderful things that we’re building our business for.
[01:11] That’s certainly the way I look at it. So, I thought I’d share with you something that I very often share with clients if I’m looking at how can we get more revenue, how can we get better productivity, how can we get even better results for our business. And it’s based on something that I was taught many years ago, which is a sales map.
[01:31] And I’m sure lots of people here will already use a sales map in their business. Different to a funnel because a funnel obviously goes that way, but a sales map, you start here and you trundle all the way across until you get to the other end. And it’s also something you can use for every single aspect of 1-2-1s, your business, anything at all.
[01:55] How can we make it even better? So 1-2-1s: before a 1-2-1, how can we make sure the results of our 1-2-1s are even better? GAINS profile, yes. We can do some research as to what the business is about, the person we’re about to meet. We can do all sorts of things and these are all very logical, tangible things and we go, yes, done that, done that, done that, done that.
[02:24] There’s very often something that is missed and it is how do we feel within the 1-2-1? How is the other person feeling in the 1-2-1? And if we can start to think about, is the other person a little bit nervous? Have they not met us before? Do they not have any expectations? Do they have grandiose expectations? And we can start to match and mirror what people are feeling, we can eventually get our emotions on the same level.
[03:02] Why is that important? The happier we are in business, the more money we make. It’s actually proven. I can share all the research with you if you want me to. But honestly, bottom-line results show that people who are happier, more joyful in their conversations, their interactions, and their business smile more and will actually make more money.
[03:23] So the next time you’re having a 1-2-1, I don’t mean sit there with this big stupid false grin on your face. That’s never ever going to work. But maybe just think, do you know this person’s new to BNI. I know they’ve not done many 1-2-1s before. I wonder how they’re feeling. How am I making this person feel? Can I make them feel a little bit more relaxed, a little bit more at ease? How can I do that? Perhaps you can ask them questions about their business first.
[03:56] So, it is a genuine 1-2-1 and not just a one. There are lots and lots of different ways that we can actually put people at ease and get them into the right mindset where we can reciprocate and actually help each other to get more from our 1-2-1s. If you need any help, you want any ideas, give me a shout, happy to share.
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