Inviting visitors is one of the most frequently discussed subjects within BNI, but Darren Jamieson argues in this Education Slot that teaching members how to invite people isn’t necessarily the issue.

There are already numerous resources available explaining how to invite visitors through social media and direct messaging. There are guides, suggested scripts and examples that members can use, and Darren points out that some people attending the meeting had received those very scripts. The process therefore isn’t theoretical; there is evidence within the room that it works.

https://youtu.be/WDXFq2yOSPM

Instead, Darren introduces a distinction he had heard described as a problem of either “will” or “skill”. A problem of skill can be addressed through training. If somebody doesn’t know how to invite a visitor, they can be shown what to do and given the tools they need. A problem of will is different. If somebody understands what needs to happen but doesn’t take action, repeatedly explaining the process will have little effect.

That distinction becomes particularly important when Darren discusses the size of the chapter. Having previously grown to around 30 members, the group had fallen to 16. Darren refers to other BNI chapters that had once appeared healthy but subsequently closed. He therefore presents members with three deliberately stark choices. They can invite visitors and actively contribute towards rebuilding the group. They can do nothing and hope other members take responsibility for growth. Or they can decide that participating in that process isn’t something they want to do.

The talk also challenges the idea that organising a dedicated visitor day will solve the problem. Darren argues that a visitor day often places additional emphasis on the same people who are already inviting guests. One successful event may increase attendance temporarily, but it doesn’t create the consistent behaviour required for sustainable chapter growth.

Contribution is another theme running through the talk. Darren discusses members whose activity had fallen into BNI’s grey traffic-light category and explains the chapter’s decision not to renew members who consistently weren’t contributing. From his perspective, membership alone isn’t what strengthens the group. Passing referrals, generating business and introducing visitors all contribute to the health of the chapter.

The Education Slot ultimately isn’t a tutorial about what message to send somebody on LinkedIn or what words to use when inviting a business contact to a meeting. Those resources already exist.

Instead, it asks a more uncomfortable question: if members know what to do, know why it matters and have the tools available to them, are they willing to take responsibility for doing it?

00:12 – Darren Jamieson:
The leadership team has asked me to do an Education Slot on inviting visitors via social media.

00:25 – Darren:
Oh, sorry mate. But I have done that before many times, and there are videos online for it.

00:32
There’s even a 61-page guide talking you through it, and there’s even scripts you can copy and paste to send to people online to invite them to meetings.

00:39
It’s all been done. Everybody’s seen it, except maybe Dave Thomas, but I will share that with him anyway.

00:47
And if you’re wondering, do these scripts actually work? They’re the reason that Yarak and Colin are sat here today, because they got those exact scripts. So it works.

00:56
So I don’t think there’s much point me going through that again, because me teaching you how to invite visitors isn’t the problem.

01:06
Now, Shaun phrased it really well about a month ago when he said it’s either a problem of will or it’s a problem of skill.

01:18
And he uses that within Utility Warehouse. It applies to business. It applies to sport. It’s a problem of will or it’s a problem of skill.

01:25
And if it’s a problem of skill, we can help you. We can show you how to do it.

01:32
But I don’t think it’s a problem of skill. I think it’s a problem of will. And with a problem of will, I can’t help you. I can’t motivate you to invite visitors.

01:41
I can’t. Despite what motivational speakers will say, you cannot be motivated by somebody else. You can only motivate yourself. I can inspire you to motivate yourself, but what you do with that is purely up to you.

01:54
Now, as Shaun put it just a few moments ago, we are now a chapter of 16, which is the same size as BNI Grover.

02:06 – Member:
Ouch.

02:09 – Darren:
Exactly. BNI Grover has historically been the smallest chapter in the region.

02:14
We now rival them. We have gone from rivaling Roman when they were pushing past 30 and we hit 30. Roman has now gone on to late 30s now, because you had—so you went to 40, then you went down a little bit?

02:28 – Member:
Yeah. A few. It’s about 35.

02:32 – Darren:
About 35?

02:33 – Member:
35, yeah.

02:35 – Darren:
Yeah, which is a height we didn’t get to.

02:38 – Member:
But Darren, it’s worth noting—sorry to interrupt your speech—but it’s worth noting that we went below 20 not long ago.

02:46 – Darren:
You did, yeah. You did.

02:47 – Member:
So we can move back.

02:50 – Darren:
We can move back. Yes. But we can also move back further again.

02:55
So rather than rival Roman, we have now gone down to half the size we were, at 16.

03:03 – Member:
But why is that? Some people—

03:09 – Member:
We are quality instead of quantity.

03:11 – Darren:
That is true.

03:12
Some people leave. They think the ship is sinking, so, “Right, I’m going as well.”

03:16
That’s part of the reason, right? That’s part of the reason.

03:18 – Member:
Not enough new people coming through the door.

03:20 – Darren:
Not enough new people coming through the door. Because if we don’t invite visitors now, we will lose more members. That is a fact.

[Clears throat/coughs]

03:29
We will lose more members. We will go down smaller. And there’s a few people here who’ve heard me say it before. I’ve heard you say it before, that we need to grow this chapter or Chester BNI will go under.

03:38
And there’s a few people thinking, “No, it won’t. No, it won’t. It’ll always be here.”

03:43
Just like BNI Hooton was always going to be there at 35 members, and then it disappeared.

03:53
Just like Waterways launched at 20 members, hit 25, it’s gone. Fudge was 25 members, it’s gone.

04:04
We can go the same way.

04:08
Now, a few weeks ago, I put into the WhatsApp group, when we got below 20 for the first time, that you’ve got three options.

04:15
Option one: you can invite visitors, and that will guarantee you grow the group.

Option two: you can sit there and look at other people and hope that they will invite visitors, and that’s not going to work.

Option three: you can leave.

04:35
Now, a few people have taken option three, and as Shaun pointed out, we’ve not really lost anything.

04:42
How many people that have gone were regular visitor inviters?

04:47 – Member:
None.

04:50 – Darren:
Apart from me, Ray’s the top visitor inviter this year. Well done, Ray.

04:54 – Ray:
Great. Thank you.

04:56 – Member:
Do we need another visitor day?

04:57 – Darren/Member:
We have one. Ray, next week.

05:00 – Ray:
Oh, really?

05:01 – Member:
Yes.

05:02 – Ray:
I’m on holiday.

05:03 – Darren:
You have been in Prague. It’s fair.

05:04
But Ray, a visitor day is not the solution.

05:10
There’s no point putting a visitor day, because all that happens is the same people get the emphasis on them inviting visitors.

05:16 – Member:
Yeah. Like last time.

05:18 – Darren:
Yeah. Like last time.

05:22
So Shaun pointed out earlier on that we no longer have any grey members. And I saw Kieran laugh a little bit.

We no longer have any grey members because they’ve gone, not because they’ve got out of the grey.

05:33
That’s okay, because we announced a while ago that we weren’t going to renew grey members. And then they had a choice.

05:41
Get out of the grey or get out of the chapter.

05:46
And before they came up for renewal, they left. Which is a win.

05:51
Which is a win because it’s what we wanted, because you’re only a grey member if you are not contributing.

If you’re not passing referrals, if you’re not being thanked for business, if you’re not bringing visitors, you’re going to be a grey member.

05:59
[Clears throat]

And if you’re a grey member, you’re not helping everybody else.

06:08
Now, what I need from everybody here now—and this is not a hypothetical question—is: are you going to invite visitors next week, and the week after, and the week after?

Zoe?

06:23 – Zoe:
Am I answering the question or just answering?

06:25 – Darren:
Are you going to invite visitors?

06:27 – Zoe:
Yes. I’ve got a potential one lined up already.

06:29 – Darren:
That’s good. That’s good.

Richard?

06:32 – Richard:
I absolutely am, and I’ve already got a visitor coming next week.

06:36 – Darren:
Fantastic. Yes, you have.

06:40
Brilliant.

Lewis?

06:42 – Lewis:
I have indeed, and will continue to.

06:44 – Darren:
Fabulous.

I won’t go around everybody because, mind you, it wouldn’t take that long, but I won’t go around everybody.

06:54
But remember, we are now 16 members. We have been this low before.

07:01 – Member:
Can I say we’ve been down to eight?

07:03 – Darren:
That was even before my time.

You and Lundy are the only two left out of that original eight.

07:07
You are the only two people in this chapter that have been here longer than me.

07:12
And we did this after that when we were at the Treë Hilton. We went down—I think it was 16—and we did something similar like this.

07:22
And straight after I did an Ed Slot just like this, we lost three or four members because they didn’t want to help.

07:33
Now, I will give you those three options again.

Invite visitors.

Sit there and do nothing and hope somebody else does it for you.

Or leave.

07:42
Now, I will please stress: if you are thinking of sitting there and doing nothing and hoping somebody else does it for you, please take option three.

07:52
Because there’s nothing wrong with us losing members.

07:56
And if you take option three, we’ll be able to get somebody else in, in your category, that will go for option one, and we will grow.

But if you continue to sit there and do nothing, this chapter will fold.

08:08
Now, it’s okay for many of you because many of you can go somewhere else, as some of our members have already done.

They’ve gone to other growing chapters within the area.

08:18
Not because the grass is greener on the other side, but because the requirement is lower. It’s easier. It’s an easy life.

08:27
Zoe can’t do that. Richard can’t do that. I can’t do that.

08:34
So we have to make this work.

08:37
But we would like everybody else to join in.

Thank you.